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Dude. You think Sea World is all happy dolphins?
Okay, so only the end of that is really relevant, and even then not so much. I actually find it a bit crude. However, I do enjoy me some King of the Hill sometimes, and frankly I just wanted to embed something. And, oddly, that was the first association that came to mind when all of my rainbow-and-unicorn-themed illusions were SHATTERED by THIS: SeaWorld trainer killed by killer whale.
I'm pretty sure this Monstro is the one thousands of children and parents go to SeaWorld expecting to see, chanting and cheering for: THE one and only (or, rather, named after the original) Shamu*. It's such a tragedy, and it re-ignites the debate over keeping such large mammals in captivity.
THE PLOT THICKENS: Two disparate accounts of the incident. SeaWorld's official account is that the trainer slipped or fell into the water and drowned. A witness and anonymous SeaWorld employee say the whale came partly out of the water, grabbed the trainer by the waist, and shook her. I don't want to sensationalize or marginalize the tragic nature of this, but it's interesting that there are two such different accounts...
We went to SeaWorld last year. We saw Shamu. Twice! Fruit Loop loved it. We sat in the splash zone just so Shamu could splash us. (Which he didn't. Bum whale.)
We haven't told Fruit Loop.
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And then we have this: OVERRATED and TOTALLY UNSTABLE. Way to represent the U.S. Olympics Ski Team, ladies.
I mean, I'm sure the Olympics are more than a little stressful. I get that, nobody operates their best under stress. And yes, there may be some wounds involved (shins, egos, whatever), but SERIOUSLY: grow up. You are representing your country at THE premiere athletic event.
Vonn needs to quit w/ the swimsuit covers and concentrate on her performances. Also, lose the "Ah am so innocent aynd ah just wish ahll mah competitors such good luck aynd ah simply cayn't imaaagine whhyevah she would say such a thang aynd ah just want to race mah bayest."**
Mancuso should look into a buddy program with Susan Boyle. No, that's harsh - I'm sorry, Julia and Susan. I just don't think you girls are handling the pressure very well. It's not worth it. Do what you love doing on your terms, not the whole rest of us who are feeding a media-frenzied celebrity pop culture monstrosity.
So say I from the comfort of my armchair. Pass the peanut butter Oreos, please.
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And for some levity: DEFINE CELEBRITY. No, no, I take it back. That's what everyone is saying. I don't think we'd really argue about the famousosity of these people, (for the most part), and while the term "celebrity" may be a bit generous, nobody really cares because it makes for better TV that way.
Why do these people do this, I wonder? The money goes to charity, so it's no direct financial incentive. I suppose it probably does all come down to money on some level, though, as this gets them in the public eye, puts them back on the map, revives interest, etc., etc., etc.
No real point to this, just that the show is still going on. Multiple seasons! Take THAT, Donald Trump Bankruptcy!
Oh! But! Wait! So on the real Apprentice, some season a few years ago (back when I religiously watched TV - I'm serious, and no, that's not funny) when it came down to Kwame and Rebecca (sp?), and the Donald gave Kwame the option to have BOTH of them be the apprentice and DUDE SHUT IT DOWN? Yeah, so I know Rebecca! Well, okay, I don't REALLY know. We were in the same year in college. She was good friends with a girl in my first-year house, a girl who then rented an apartment directly opposite Hottie McHots's apartment (which he shared with 2 other guys of quite unabashedly crude temperaments, in some respects). Anyway. What was I saying? Oh, that I know who she is, saw her on campus. She probably has no idea who I am, unless she is one of the legions of girls (yes, that many) who were hot for my Hottie McHots (back off, ladies, I WILL CUT YOU), in which case she would know me as The Girlfriend. Can I just say:
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*As the article mentioned, "Shamu" is now a stage name used for any of the orcas. Which is totally lame. I mean, unless the orcas contractually demanded to have stage names in addition to their human-given monikers. The whale in question here is "really" named Tillikum/Telly. Apparently. ANYway, if you go to the Orlando show, you will see the showcase Shamu is this unbelievably gigantic beast of a whale. I think that one and Telly must be one and the same.
**I don't think she really talks like that. (Probably nobody does.) I'm mocking her pretension a bit, is all.
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