Or something like that. I'm tired. My brain is done. I think I've spent the last week butting heads w/ the fruit loop, holding a sick Cracker Jack, and being a total shrew. (Poor Hottie McHots. Hottie McHots, will it make you feel better if I tell you I'm planning on showering AND shaving my legs tonight? I mean, planning and actually accomplishing are two vastly different things when it's the end of the day and Fruit Loop is STILL AWAKE, but at least it's on the table.) I need me some Oreos, some ice cream, 12h+ of sleep, an adoption center - not necessarily in that order, either - and seriouslyifthatlittleboogerdemandsonemorethingfrommeiwillSCREAM! Where does a 4-year-old get the idea that I am his total slave? GAHHHHHH!

Why do people have kids? And an even more mindboggling follow-up: why do people have more than one?? I mean, let's be honest here: once you know what you're getting into, why would you ever decide to rinse and repeat? HOW HAS THE HUMAN RACE NOT GONE THE WAY OF THE DODO?** If we were smarter, we would have died out long ago due to inadequate procreation to further the species. I'm just saying.

(Yes, I know, WE HAVE 2 LITTLE MONSTERS OF OUR OWN. We RINSED AND REPEATED. I'm tired. This is the best you get tonight.)

*Or: Why I May Have Just Stumbled Upon Something BIG vis a vis the Dinosaurs and Their MASS EXTINCTION. Yeah, that's right. Exactly.

**Yes, I realize this may not be the MOST accurate phrase, but you get my point. My point? EQUALS EXTINCT.

Let's call that "vacation" (and I use that term LOOSELY) a big fat negatory.

No, wait:

A.

BIG.

FAT.

NEGATORY.

!!

We are back. We actually got back a few days ago, having cut the trip short due to a death in the family. Add to that everyone getting sick, abysmal weather (seriously, California, WHAT's WITH THE RAIN?!), and I'm not sure we will ever return to the great C of A state.

Will try posting more on all of that absolute joy over the next few days. I KNOW YOU CANNOT WAIT. Not like it will be depressing or anything, although I have noticed this quick vacation recap is a pretty good way to stop a conversation DEAD IN ITS TRACKS.

Prepping for big family vacay/wedding festivities in CA and NJ over the next week and a-half.

...Seems a bit trivial in light of the earthquake in Haiti and various other world concerns. A number of organizations are setting up donations and relief/aid/support: Red Cross, Wyclef, ISNA (to name a few). Help however you can - prayers probably more than anything.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased to present to you: The Eight Dollar Pear. Note the sale price turns your putative Eight Dollar Pear into a Paltry Five Dollar Pear. However, I ask you this: When have you EVER had even a Five Dollar Pear? You see my point.

From all reports, these Harry & David pears are just, like, the bee's knees. Commonly called "the best pears I/she/he/we've ever had," I am impressed by the advertising alone - I mean, can YOU cut a pear like that? And then take a picture with a perfect drop of sweet, pear-juicy nectar poised tantalizingly on the edge of the spoon? (Go ahead, wipe the drool off of your keyboard, I'll wait.)

So. We're toying with the idea of becoming Harry & David Fruit-of-the-Month Clubbers. And most of the options are on sale now, 20% off. (THAT, my friends, is a whole 'nother post - The Thrill of the Sale.) My boys all have great appetites, and actually enjoy healthy, real food! Compared to the average American's diet, I'd say we are leaps and bounds ahead with regards to fruit and vegetable consumption. Yay! So a fruit of the month club would certainly not go to waste, I don't think.

However, not sure I'm willing to spring for an Eight Five Dollar Pear. Not that I don't like to dream big or anything, I'm just a little scared of such colossal fruit. Can you imagine, though? It'd be an event all unto itself.

Me: "Remember, honey, tonight is Pear Night!"
Hottie McHots: "Darn tootin'! I can't wait!"
Fruit Loop: "Gee whiz, Ma, do we have to wait 'til tonight? C'mon!"
Cracker Jack: "A-ba-ba. Ba. AAAAAAAAAIEEEEEEEE!"

First: I smell tasty. (Per Hottie McHots. Hubba hubba!)

Second: If you are sensing a couple of recurring themes after reading this post, you would be correct: food in general and Indian/Pakistani food in particular play big roles in my life.

That being said, here is why I smell so delectable:

Sabri Nihari. ("Sub-ree Nee-har-ee.") If you ever come to Chicago, you must eat here. Conversely, if you ever want good Indian/Pakistani food, you must eat here. The kitchen has got to be run by elves who sprinkle magic tasty dust into everything, because every dish is phenomenal. Authentic recipes, real heat, and FAST service. I can't say enough good things about this place.

I highly HIGHLY recommend the frontier chicken (I have yet to find and make my own), the nihari (a wonderful beef shank braised in the smoothest beef gravy EVER), and the chicken makhani (butter chicken that is as its name implies - except they left out the "butter heaven" part).

So, anyway, Hottie McHots and I hit up Sabri Nihari for date night tonight. We order several things, and our table is covered with a delicious, savory, satisfying array of food. Our conversation follows:

Hottie McHots: "What would you like first?"
Me: "I want to breathe. It warms my soul." (If there exists such a thing as voracious inhaling, that was what I proceeded to do.)
Hottie McHots: (digging in, referencing an earlier conversation) "Ugh, there's so much stress-"
Me: "Breathe! Warm your soul!"

It's that good.

Irony alert: watched Julie and Julia last night (Gasp! On a weeknight! Such rebels, Hottie McHots and I.), and I was all "Yes! You! Are writing to NOBODY - like ME! Kinship!" Which, really, I kind of like the idea that nobody knows I exist, that I could put a whole life out into the ether of the digital world and none would be the wiser. Then it'd be all, like, surprise! Here I am, this little blog with a life of its own, and I was here the whole time! *Happy dance by the blog!*

(I'm sure there's a better way to articulate that idea, but since my brain pretty much shut down a good few years ago that's the best description you're getting for now.)

So...Yeah, where was I going with this? Right, Julia Child. I have no idea if she was really like the character Meryl Streep did, but if she was: what a lady! I would love to have known that personality. Though, question: where DID she get that voice and accent? (Was there an accent?)

I feel like I should make Julia's boeuf bourguignon. How deliciously, stick-to-your-ribs, soul-satisfying did that look in the movie? I make a mean beef barley stew right now, but this could be my classy version - you know, all French and stuff.

Not stuffy and French, however, is Julia's on-the-fly sense of humor:


And, just because I hear this with Meryl Streep/Julia Child voice and love it: "Bon appetit!"

Full disclosure: I am not Indian. I am a white girl, born and raised in the Midwest, and was thoroughly convinced I would die if spicy food so much as touched my lips. That is, until I was 18, just starting college, and had buffalo wings with my future Hottie McHots. Now I cook much Indian food. (I cook more Indian/Pakistani food than I do American.)

So! Recipe! See below for Lamb and Beet Curry, ("Chukander Gosht"). Sub wherever you need = beef (or goat!) for lamb, orange beets to mix it up a bit, other veggies or starches (green beans, kidney beans, peas, potatoes, carrots, etc.) in addition to or instead of beets... The nice things about curries is that the base (the curry or sauce or "salan") is the given. The feature ingredients (like meat, veggies, legumes, starches) are variable.

Chukander Gosht
1-2 lb. lamb (with bones is preferable)
2T. oil
1 med. onion, finely chopped
1 1/2t garlic paste
<1t ginger paste
1t red chili powder ("mirchi"), or to taste
1 1/2t turmeric ("haldi")
1t coriander powder ("dhania")
1t cumin powder ("zeera")
1/4c. yogurt
2c. water
3/4 - 1 lb beets (peeled and cubed - could use canned beets instead)
1 bunch coriander (fresh, chopped)
Salt to taste

1. Heat oil over medium-low heat --> fry onion 'til translucent (~10').
2. Add garlic, ginger, lamb --> cook 10' ('til meat browns).
3. Add chili, turmeric, coriander powder, cumin --> cook 1-2', stirring well.
4. Add salt, yogurt, water --> simmer 15' ('til oil separates).
5. Add beets --> simmer 20-30' ('til beets are soft).
6. Add coriander --> mix well before serving.

Serve hot over rice.

There is about 10' worth of prep time, ~45-60' cook time, and NO HARD STUFF AT ALL! It really is easy, comes out well every time, and tastes like the real thing! (What am I saying? It IS the real thing!) Enjoy!

Target is quite nearly one of my favorite places to waste time, spend money, and bask in aisle after aisle of shameless relatively economical consumerism. I do grocery shopping there, pick up household essentials, dabble in apparel basics (pj's, undershirts and drawers for the boys, socks, etc.), and am a sucker for anything they offer that's new! exciting! better than anything else we have for whatever one particular need you're looking to meet! or a need that you didn't even know you had!!

However. HowEVer. I am no longer venturing into store brand territory. Let me backtrack. I am not a brand-ist. I am in no way an elitist when it comes to who makes whatever I choose to buy. Rather, I let performance dictate where my money goes. And, based solely on performance, Target's Up and Up* brand of products is becoming a last resort.

Let's see: a random sampling of Target brand products.
Baby food - This tops the list as NOT interchangeable w/ typical name brand manufacturers, (i.e., Gerber). The consistency is MUCH more runny, and I suspect the quality of fruits used is inferior to that in branded baby food.

Baby lotion (zinc oxide ointment, e.g.) - Again, loses out to branded ointment, (i.e., Desitin). Not only is the consistency far too thick and gloppy, the Target brand contains less active ingredient (zinc oxide) than typical Desitin = Desitin is a better buy, both for performance and economy (since you'll see smashing results w/ less product).

Pregnancy tests - Personally, these have been okay. However, friends have discovered a higher-than-expected incidence of false positives, especially if the tests are months and months old. Maybe my expectations are too high and the number of false positives falls w/in an average range, but... Sorry, no, I don't need that kind of excitement.

Ziploc-type bags - Adequate. Perhaps household items that are less distinguishable by performance are still okay...

Napkins - Cheap, but again adequate.

At this point, I'm turned off enough to probably not try anything else by the Target brand unless it's all that's available and I absolutely need it...

******
In addition to these little branding shenanigans, WHAT is the DEAL w/ day-after candy?? I mean, not like I totally watch the calendar and plan a trip to Target AS SOON AS THEY OPEN the day after a major holiday, but c'm'on! Where they used to automatically go 50% or more off of holiday items, it's now a measly 15-30%. I mean, part of the fun is getting a great deal, and now I can't even enjoy that. It's like saying "I went shopping and got this great dress, and it was a steal!" But now, if you went shopping at Target, you'd be saying "I got this great top and half a sleeve to a dress, and just ignore those unfinished seams, and there is still some hemming to do, but it was a pretty good deal..." Well, not really like that. But yes, kind of like that. GIVE ME BACK MY RIDICULOUSLY DISCOUNTED CANDY, TARGET!!

******

*Prior to the Up and Up brand, the traditional Target brand items seemed fine! I hate when companies take over stuff and then proceed to change everything about it until it's inferior and unrecognizable. Like Electrasol. ARGH. (For the record, Cascade is WAY BETTER. Take THAT, Finish dishwasher detergent!)

Pre-Fruit Loop, I was totally of the "Aww, I will love my baby and hug him and hold him and make all of his food and provide him with appropriately stimulating learning opportunities and bond and snuggle and never will he watch TV and we will all live in our beautiful woodland meadow with our pet unicorn amid perpetual rainbows and flying ponies."

Pfft. Riiiiight. See post title. Not that I use TV/electronic entertainment to babysit my kids or anything, but I totally use TV/electronic entertainment to babysit my kids. And THAT whole discussion aside, can you believe how GOOD a preschooler can be at Mario Kart?? It's remarkable! Someone should do a study or something on the learning curve of a preschooler re: video games, manual dexterity, the effects of winning (or losing, GAH), and just how much a parent should (or shouldn't?) LET the child win.

Now, if there is a My Little Pony game, I can still pretend the pre-parenting fantasy has been made reality, yes?