I should join The Dark Side. Not because I want to keep my loved ones alive forever (ahem, ANAKIN), but because I want unlimited dark and sinister power to make my kids grow up and go to school already AS IN TODAY.
Actually, not their fault. Mine for not controlling my emotions better and letting the morning get off to a rough start.
And in what-is-not-really-but-may-seem-like-a-tangent: is self-criticism harder to take than criticism from others? In some ways, no. I can say my own critical things to myself that don't hurt nearly as much as when someone else says the same thing. In other ways, yes. This is usually driven by depressing and negative thoughts brought on by criticism - imagined or real - from others. The whole "I'm not worthy" thing.
And to avoid such a negative downward spiral, I am going to stop for now. I will drink some tea, I will let Caillou or Clifford or Bob the Builder babysit Fruit Loop while Cracker Jack and I (separately) nap. And then I will get some coffee and we will drive an hour to swimming and I will mentally beg and plead and USE THE FORCE to get Fruit Loop to earn his Red Patch, and to get his teacher to stop prevaricating and GIVE IT TO HIM ALREADY, SO WHAT IF HE CAN'T FLOAT NATURALLY IT IS HARD WORK AND HE IS DOING EVERYTHING YOU ASKED HIM TO. I should Jedi mind trick her.
GAAAAAAH, me and my pathetically spoiled WASPy, self-centered, abject misery.